Jealousy is a double-edged sword. It can be a sweet, endearing, even attractive quality. In small doses. In larger doses? It can be damaging.
I have a very jealous side. I try to keep it under my thumb as much as possible. I let it out occasionally. In small doses. When it occasionally slips out in a larger amount? I become a full-blown, boneheaded jackass. I upset people that I care about. Which in turn, upsets me. I tend to internalize everything, anyway. I've spent the better part of 20 years keeping everything tightly bottled. I've cried in front of one person in 20 years.
I can be an ass to people I love when my jealousy flares. An ass without any right to be one. So when I tell you to keep your jealousy under your thumb and only let it out in small doses, believe me it's for the best. It's a double-edged sword. It'll hurt the one you love, and yourself.
I'm sorry. You know who you are.
Stop bottling things up. Let go. You're hurting no one but yourself the most. Advice form a well meaning friend here.
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